I have debated within myself all week about whether or not I would post something about National Infertility Awareness week. Its not something I really talk about.
As many of you may know through personal experience,
Infertility sucks....
...especially (in our case) when you don't know the reason or cause for it.
I read on another blog that 10-15% of married couples struggle with some form of infertility. People deal with it in different ways. I'm mostly ok with it. I've dealt with it and have moved on. That's not to say that it doesn't rear its ugly head sometimes...and usually at times where I least expect it. In those times, I'm mostly the "suffer in silence" kind with the occasional tears when people (who mostly are trying to be nice or helpful) say or do something stupid. You would die if you knew some of the stuff I've had people say.
For real.
My friend has said to me on several occasions, "I don't know how you do it." The truth is, I don't have a choice. This is one of my trials. Is it easy? Nope. Would I want to trade my trials for yours? No thanks.
The hard part? I have no control over my family. We can't have a baby when we want one or feel its the right time. We don't have any control over how close the boys are in age or will be to the next member of our family (if there is one). That's the hard part. No control.
BUT....
-I have gained a testimony about adoption.
-I know there is a plan for our little family. I'm just not in charge of that plan.
-I have two beautiful boys.
-I've made some wonderful, lifelong friends (some of whom I've never even met) who struggle with some of the same things that I do.
-I've learned a lot about prayer and about patience (probably more than I ever wanted to).
- In general, I have greater empathy for those around me and I try not to assume.
-Having your babies with you in the temple is the BEST. And honestly, I feel sorry for people who don't get to experience it.
So, that being said...be nice to those around you who may be struggling with infertility. Its so not your job to fix it or even make us feel better. It goes a long way to just acknowledge the trial and offer a hug. Enough said.
As many of you may know through personal experience,
Infertility sucks....
...especially (in our case) when you don't know the reason or cause for it.
I read on another blog that 10-15% of married couples struggle with some form of infertility. People deal with it in different ways. I'm mostly ok with it. I've dealt with it and have moved on. That's not to say that it doesn't rear its ugly head sometimes...and usually at times where I least expect it. In those times, I'm mostly the "suffer in silence" kind with the occasional tears when people (who mostly are trying to be nice or helpful) say or do something stupid. You would die if you knew some of the stuff I've had people say.
For real.
My friend has said to me on several occasions, "I don't know how you do it." The truth is, I don't have a choice. This is one of my trials. Is it easy? Nope. Would I want to trade my trials for yours? No thanks.
The hard part? I have no control over my family. We can't have a baby when we want one or feel its the right time. We don't have any control over how close the boys are in age or will be to the next member of our family (if there is one). That's the hard part. No control.
BUT....
-I have gained a testimony about adoption.
-I know there is a plan for our little family. I'm just not in charge of that plan.
-I have two beautiful boys.
-I've made some wonderful, lifelong friends (some of whom I've never even met) who struggle with some of the same things that I do.
-I've learned a lot about prayer and about patience (probably more than I ever wanted to).
- In general, I have greater empathy for those around me and I try not to assume.
-Having your babies with you in the temple is the BEST. And honestly, I feel sorry for people who don't get to experience it.
So, that being said...be nice to those around you who may be struggling with infertility. Its so not your job to fix it or even make us feel better. It goes a long way to just acknowledge the trial and offer a hug. Enough said.
7 comments:
Thanks for sharing that beautiful post! You are AMAZING! I love you!
Tru dat, sista.
So true. I know exactly what you mean. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for this post. It made my day!
It always makes it some what easier to go through infertility when you have a good support group. Thanks for the post, it makes me remember that when we are struggling that we are not alone.
Love that post. Ditto everything! Especially the no control part (hate that) and how lucky we are to go to the temple with our kiddos! Love ya Shelby, you're awesome!
(HUGS)!!
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