My new project

My friend, Heather, has a new project that I'm really excited to help her with. (You may remember that Heather and her family are the ones that kept Bosten those crazy first few days...and have since adopted.) Here's a little from her blog about the project:

You may remember me mentioning my amazing friend Carol who pretty much made Ryder's adoption happen, and who I've decided is the Mother Theresa of Utah. Seriously, she's awesome. Anyway, she's been volunteering at the homeless clinic in Salt Lake and other crisis centers for women. She helps educate women about birth control and gives IUD's to women (she's a nurse). That may not seem like a big deal to you at first, but let me tell you, its a HUGE thing. These women that seek help at these places are pretty much at rock bottom--either on drugs, in an abusive relationship, or homeless. Carol has met many women who have had LOTS of kids (like 6, 7, 8) and who have had them ALL taken by the state and placed in foster care for various reasons. Or there are women who are raising children in the most horrible circumstances you can imagine. These babies are starved, neglected, or abused--either by the moms or boyfriends. It is a sad, sad cycle. So helping to prevent babies being born into these circumstances is monumental in helping to break the cycle. But, as Carol said to me today, often it is too late for an IUD to be the answer. There are many women who go to these clinics/shelters/etc already pregnant and resigned to the fact that they have to raise their babies in complete and utter poverty. They are usually completely ignorant to other options. The clinics will offer abortion as an option to these women (of course, I will not get into that right now), but that's it. There are no other options, as far as these pregnant, homeless, destitute women are concerned. So that's where Carol and I have devised a plan. Or really, more of a mission. Ok, mostly its Carol, but she's kind enough to bring me on board! We are going to gather information about adoption, such as pamphlets, crisis numbers for unwed mothers, and contact information for several adoption agencies, including LDSFS. Carol has started getting permission for us to place this information at the various centers and clinics for the women there to look at and take home. I think this information is essential and wonderful to have at those places, but its really just a START. Carol and I think that what will really get these girls and women to seriously consider placing their babies with a good family is for them to SEE that family. Or several families. So my goal is to put together binders with adoptive couples' paper profiles in them, along with their letters to birthparents. Also, we will have contact information for the adoption agency that the couple is with. We will not put the couple's personal contact information, of course, unless some of them want their link to their online profile or website shown, then we will do just that. So ideally, a birth mother will find a family that interests her, contact the affiliated agency, and then get the counseling/help she needs while planning a better future for her baby. Our plan is to place these binders at the clinics along with the pamphlets and other information about adoption in general. I think the profiles are so critical. A scared, pregnant girl may read an adoption agency pamphlet and think, "yeah, that's great, for somebody else." But maybe she just happens to pick up a binder and look at pictures of a FAMILY, a family who goes to the park, or on vacations, who has loving extended family, who has a JOB and a HOME, and maybe something about their pictures touches her and she feels a desire to give her unborn child a life like that. So THEN, maybe, she'll be motivated to make the call to an adoption agency. This probably will not happen all the time, but if it even happens just ONCE, and saves just ONE baby, then it is worth it. SO that's where you guys come in. I know some of you are adoptive parents who are planning to adopt again soon. Would you consider letting me put copies of your profiles in these binders to be placed at these crisis centers and clinics? OR, some of you may have friends and family who are wanting to adopt. Could you please ask them how they would feel about giving me copies of their profiles to put in the binders? I know adoption agencies encourage their couples to do things like this, its a part of what they call "networking." So I think most adoptive couples would be open to this. Some thing you should be aware of, though, is that these birth moms do not come without baggage, such as a possible history of drug or alcohol abuse, or other potential problems. BUT, if they seek help at an agency soon enough, a lot of these problems can be avoided if the birth mom gets the help and counseling she needs. I'm crying a little as I write this, and I think its because this is a cause that is so close to my heart.

I love adoption, it is such a miracle, and I have two beautiful miracles asleep in their beds right now. And they both have such amazing adoption stories. But I have to talk a minute about my boy. His birth mom would easily fall into the category of those women that I have described above. I am soooo grateful to her for the choice she made for Ryder. I love her and respect her for that. But I am also soooo grateful every day that I have Ryder, and not her. I'm grateful that he's not in a situation right now where his dad is in jail, and his mom is trying to feed and take care of four little kids when she can barely take care of herself. I'm grateful that he gets to sleep in a clean bed with a clean sheet, in a (mostly!) clean home, and can roll on a floor free of cigarette butts and beer cans. He eats regularly and gets taken to the doctor for his check ups. He gets medicine when he needs it. He is so loved and adored by a daddy, mommy, and big sister. It is very unlikely that he would get all of these basic comforts if his birth mom had chosen to keep him. And it is HIGHLY probable that eventually the state would have taken him away from his birth family for different reasons, and he would have lived his life in various foster homes, with no stability. It is also HIGHLY likely (and it kills me to say this), that he would not have even survived these last four months of his life if he had been living with his alcoholic birth father. Ryder was not an easy baby at first. I am more grateful than I can express that we were fortunate enough to have been chosen to be Ryder's family. His family history and family medical background is not perfect, but I couldn't care less. He's my boy, and I love him. If this could happen to just ONE more family, and ONE more baby, as a result of binders with families' profiles being placed at homeless clinics, then I am more than happy, and more than committed to doing this. So PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE help me out if you can.

Wow. I'm really committed to helping with this project. I'm not sure what that means exactly yet, but Heather and I are going to brainstorm and see what we can come up with. She's so right...

if ONE family is blessed with ONE baby its worth it.

if ONE baby is placed with a loving family its worth it.

Want to help? Want your profile to go in these binders? Have any good ideas?

Please, please let me know.

Thanks.